Jastef

Stef! I can't believe how awful that is. What a horrible woman. I have never had someone make a comment like that to me. Good Grief. I am so sorry. You used lots of self control. I would have been a lot nastier than that!! :(

I cannot believe that!   I'm so sorry that happened to you!  And I don't even know what she means by what she said to you!  That is good that you brought it to Ethan to pray for that lady.  Oh brother!  It's sad...and I guess we should have compassion upon a person like that whose soul is so obviously lost and without hope.

I'm glad its not only Jason and I that thought the comment was horrible. :-)

Jill, guessing by the look she had on her face, she meant that having kids is a big mistake and stupid us went and had 2.

So...my first instinct is to say: "GO STEF!" Because I totally would have stuttered and sputtered and not been able to get out any kind of reasonable retort to a comment like that - gracious or otherwise. Seriously - I think that within limits - people like that should get a taste of their own medicine.

I'm sorry that Ethan (and all our kids) have to grow up in a world where children are viewed by many with such disdain. People who look at kids that way are missing out on huge blessings.

Yep.  She needed to be told she was out of line.  I am glad you didn't just ignore her.  How terribly sad she must be with life! 

erin

Wow Stef!  What an encounter!  And you make it sound like people have said these types of things to you before...I can't imagine!  I wonder if it has anything to do with you being a younger mom, or if you just tend to run into people who truly do not appreciate kids...It's *so* sad that she said something so rude and even more sad that Ethan even partially understands, kids shouldn't have to be subject to such things.  So proud of you for giving it some explanation and taking it to the Lord, what a great example.  I've had rude comments from old ladies before, but they are usually assuming that my kids will be tornados in their store, before the kids even walk in--that's annoying too.  I agree with the other poster, it's too bad kids have begun to be seen as a detriment in society. 

Suzy would have taken the lady on, even though she likes old folks, she does not put up with that kind of stuff. I think you were too nice, but probably did the right thing.

 Do not mess with my parenting skills fool! :-)

I have to admit all these nice replies have made me feel better. I've really been worrying that what I said was too rude. I do hope she went home and maybe thought about how her words can hurt people.

Gina: oddly enough, I do run into people like this ALL the time. A lady at Target asked me today "you DO know how this happens, right?" while pointing at my kids. She was being light and funny about it and so I joked back with her said "no, we still haven't been able to figure it out -- maybe by the time we have 6 or 7 it will come to us." And she laughed. I usually do get at least one comment a week, but they've never been as rude as the lady in BB&B. Typically people ask if they're twins and when I say no, they come back with "Wow, you're brave!" or "I bet you'll never do this again!" or something like that.

I can't imagine why you get such comments so frequently...I was telling John about your experience and he said better you than him...he wouldn't have been so nice.  My thought was, how badly did her parents treat her, or what message did they give her that she feels so awful about kids?  As for others, like the lady in Target who was not so spiteful, I can only imagine that they feel any more than one is tough.  I know when I had my boys and my niece and everyone thought my youngest and my niece were twins I got the "you're brave" comment often.  Now, with three boys, I get the "you must be *really* busy" comment and occassionally the "better you than me--I couldn't handle it" comment, but nothing insinuating my kids are a mistake.  Maybe it's my "intimidating demeanor".  :-) 

You know, we get the "Four Kids!?" line all the time. Mostly it is a positive thing, but some times you can tell people feel more than 2 kids is pushing it. What will they say when we have 6 kids? 8 kids? ... I personally love the feeling of being out with my kids even when people are not friendly.

 The other day a guy at work told me that being 30 and having 4 kids is nuts, they plan on starting their family when they are 35+. What! After 40 your like really old and stuff, when your kids are ready to play baseball your like "hand me my cane sonny, and we can throw the ball around a bit ... did I ever tell you what baseballs were made out of when I was a youngster?"

 ;-)

I totally agree with Shane. Purposely starting your family at 35+ and thinking its the smart way to go is nuts. Some people have no choice and its the "plan" God has for them, but to purposely wait that long.... crazy.

This whole issue falls under the "mind your own business" category. Its not wrong to have a large family and its not necessarily wrong to want only two kids. The Bible never mentions the blessing being taken away once you get past the magical numbers of 2 and 4. :) We each answer to God in the end and not each other. I just get bothered when I'm treated like a crazy person because I have two kids rather close in age. We're handling it! And we've loved every minute of it! Our lives become richer and richer with every child we've had.

I have learned that I have to consider them a blessing and also a means of God growing me in grace and sanctifying me through them -- otherwise,  I can see how people might grow to resent them. :-)